My Daddy Mark.

19 years ago today we lost him.
No.. I don’t remember him. People often tell me how it must be so nice that I don’t remember him .. because then the pain of missing him isn’t so bad. They have no idea.. just how desperately I wish I could remember him. Just one memory. I can’t. I was only 10 months old when he died. Yet I’m finally starting to realize just how badly I miss him. Somewhere deep in my heart. It may sound kinda strange to miss someone you don’t remember.. someone you never had the chance to get to know. But I do know him. He’s inside of me.. who I am is tied to who he was. It’s a strange connection. Often I wonder if he can watch me.. if he is proud of me. I like to think he is. I’m proud of him.
I love him. And somehow I can feel that he loves me too.

I wouldn’t exchange my family now for anything. Some things just don’t make sense. I love them more than anything in the world and nothing could change that. My Daddy Mark is just a part of all that love somehow. Because he’s a part of me.
-beth

Who can say for certain, maybe you’re still here?
I feel you all around me – your memories so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak,
You’re still an inspiration-
Can it be?
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile, if only for awhile – to know you’re there..
A breath away’s not far to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping, here inside my dream,
And isn’t faith believing all power can’t be seen?
As my heart holds you, just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me everyday..
Because you are mine, forever-
Watching me from up above..

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9 thoughts on “My Daddy Mark.

  1. Laura says:

    Aww, Bethany, this is a wonderful tribute. I am so glad you shared this part of your life with us, even if it didn’t last long enough. *hugs* Oh, and I was in Mooresville today and totally thought of you and John and said a little prayer for you both!

  2. chritsgirl says:

    love you lots! you look so much like your Daddy! :)

  3. linda kauffman says:

    aww… how sweet! I see you look more like your daddy.. soo glad you have pictures, they are a treasure!

  4. jolene says:

    This brought tears to my eyes..
    I thought of you lots today.. And prayed that God would be extra close today.
    Hugs ♥

  5. Bethy says:

    this made me cry…I treasure every single memory (even the fading ones) of my brothers and knowing you don’t have one of your dad makes me want to weep. I think that instead of lessening the pain, it’d make you feel like you lost even more. That you were robbed of memories most people cherish to help them through the loss. *tears* Te amo, Bethy…I like that God let us share this day…xoxoooooooooooooo ;)

  6. Veerle says:

    It has already been said but it’s so true, you DO look like him, your smile’s so much like his!!
    Love you x

  7. Azucena says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. I am sure your father is really proud of you and loves you dearly. I think once you become a mother, you would understand his love even more.

    Sincerely,
    Azucena

  8. duoimagery says:

    Thank you so much everyone – for all the love and prayers. It means so much. :) -beth

  9. gretta says:

    this made me cry. very well put. and i adore that song.

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