19 years ago today we lost him.
No.. I don’t remember him. People often tell me how it must be so nice that I don’t remember him .. because then the pain of missing him isn’t so bad. They have no idea.. just how desperately I wish I could remember him. Just one memory. I can’t. I was only 10 months old when he died. Yet I’m finally starting to realize just how badly I miss him. Somewhere deep in my heart. It may sound kinda strange to miss someone you don’t remember.. someone you never had the chance to get to know. But I do know him. He’s inside of me.. who I am is tied to who he was. It’s a strange connection. Often I wonder if he can watch me.. if he is proud of me. I like to think he is. I’m proud of him.
I love him. And somehow I can feel that he loves me too.
I wouldn’t exchange my family now for anything. Some things just don’t make sense. I love them more than anything in the world and nothing could change that. My Daddy Mark is just a part of all that love somehow. Because he’s a part of me.
Who can say for certain, maybe you’re still here?
I feel you all around me – your memories so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak,
You’re still an inspiration-
Can it be?
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile, if only for awhile – to know you’re there..
A breath away’s not far to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping, here inside my dream,
And isn’t faith believing all power can’t be seen?
As my heart holds you, just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me everyday..
Because you are mine, forever-
Watching me from up above..